Men's Leadership

There are times when our leadership roles, or at least our aspirations to influence our families, churches, and communities for good, have us feeling like we’re at the top of the world. This is a good feeling, and can be confidence-building, but it’s not always a healthy one. That’s because feeling like we’re at the top of the world makes us think for awhile that God…isn’t.

We all have down days. Sometimes those days can drag out into weeks. Times of financial hardship especially can bring this out in us men. They are reality.

But they are also necessary. All good and godly men have experienced those times when God is clearly saying “You’re not at the top of the food chain. I am.” And there’s a reason for that.

Those times are as important to our growth as leaders as the good times. We need to appreciate them, not fight them. Learn from them, but don’t let them define us. Impress into our memory what it feels like to be down so we can relate to others and pick them up when the opportunity arises.

Feeling like a failure…which is a common feeling for men…is a message from Satan, but learning that we are not on the throne is a message from The Divine. It’s all in how you look at it, and that’s the point.

It is not overstepping our bounds to question God and wonder what He’s doing. David did it many times in the Psalms:

“O LORD, the God who saves me, day and night I cry out before you. May my prayer come before you; turn your ear to my cry. For my soul is full of trouble and my life draws near the grave. … I am like a man without strength. … You have put me in the lowest pit, in the darkest depths. … You have taken from me my closest friends and have made me repulsive to them. I am confined and cannot escape; my eyes are dim with grief. I call to you, O LORD, every day; I spread out my hands to you.” ~Psalm 88:1-9 (NIV)

“How long, LORD? Will You hide yourself forever? Will Your wrath burn like a fire? … LORD, where are Your former lovingkindnesses, which you swore to David in your truth?” ~Psalm 89:46-49 (NKJV)

God doesn’t mind the questions, as long as we’re looking to Him for the answers. As leaders, we need to understand that the times of darkness that plague our human existence are just there to grow us into the men God wants us to be. God knows that what doesn’t kill us, if we’re seeking His face, just makes us stronger.

Just as it is impossible to feel on the top of the world without ever experience life’s valleys, it’s also impossible to know the resolve of a true leader without that resolve ever being tested. Untested resolve is just bravado.

Spread the word:

There is a glaring disconnect between men’s interest in leading grand enterprises like multi-million dollar corporations, non-profits, and political campaigns, and their interest in leading their families. We gravitate toward the one, and think these pursuits worthy of our utmost attention as if lives depended on us–and to be sure, they do–yet we run from the other with unholy fear.

How many politicians have you seen in the news who have built great followings with soaring speeches and pleasant words, but who set low bars for moral and spiritual leadership at home? Broken marriages and ruined family relationships are the result, because there is no one who sees the disconnect better than those who know him best. The disconnect invariably affects the worldly empire he has built, and like a wrecking ball, destroys the tower of good will that was once enjoyed.

Spread the word:

When you add up your influence on those around you, would you say you’re in the asset column or liability column? Are you a credit or a debit? Do you contribute to the “bottom line” of those you lead (and we all lead someone, whether we want to or not), or do you drain “cash flow” from that bottom line by squandering the opportunities you’ve been given?

Put leadership into financial terms and it seems so much more meaningful, doesn’t it? If your life is a budget, where are your cash resources going each month? Are there holes in your budget that need to be tightened up so you don’t waste precious cash in a tough economy?

Spread the word:

The guy who abuses the loyalty of his wife, kids, or employees out of a sense of superiority or privilege is a fool, squandering his ability to have any positive influence over them. That’s because authority in theory does not guarantee influence in reality. A police office may have a badge that gives him authority, but if he’s dealing with a drug dealer who doesn’t respect that authority, his influence is nil.

Jesus knew that moral authority was a more effective tool of leadership than authority granted from on high. Moral authority is real influence, and can’t be bought, sold, or granted. It can only be earned.

God granted Jesus dominion over mankind, but Jesus earned the influence he had over his disciples over the course of thirty years on earth. He lived, loved, taught, and served. He earned the trust of his followers through a consistent example of sacrificial leadership that placed his followers needs over his own. All of the authority of God Almighty couldn’t accomplish what Jesus’ years of sacrificial ministry accomplished: loyalty and lasting personal influence.

Spread the word:

The leader who never asserts his authority has none. That’s not to say that leaders should exercise authority arbitrarily, just for the purpose of maintaining power or control. That is a manipulative strategy of Machiavellian tyrants, not Christlike servant-leaders.

Nevertheless, a leader can’t be a wallflower, never speaking up when it’s his turn to set the pace or direction for those who look up to him. Who is he pretending to lead if he has no influence when the chips are down?

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The topic of men’s leadership has been near and dear to my heart for years. I was not a born leader, and the older I get, the more I learn that few people are. Yet in so many roles in life, men will be put into leadership positions. It is not a question of if but when.

All men (and women, although that’s not the subject of this blog) are called to lead in some way, whether as the heads of our families, as employees responsible for getting a task done, or as guys who stuck their hands up at the wrong time at church and thus “volunteered” to head up the next big outreach project.

Spread the word: